Top 10 Visual Novels For White-Minded People
10 unproblematic visual novels you can play to prove just how leftist and wholesome you are on social media
Japanese games are gross, problematic, and immature. Japanese Visual Novels in particular are the worst of the bunch and anyone who ever played one deserves to receive death threats and to be doxxed. That's what my favorite YouTuber Gigaijin said in his "1 Week in Japan Taught Me What It's Like To Feel Racism" 168 hours video essay. Thank God though, there are a handful of Visual Novels made in USA and Europe that you can enjoy without endangering your online leftism meter, and showcase how wholesome you are on Tiktok.
Star Wars Kotorichantachi 2
A classic which invented the "naroukei for white people" genre, which was later perfected in Baldur's Gate 3.
I actually never played this series
Astro Robo
In this platformer visual novel, you play as an Unalived (robot) who visits the graves of hundreds of problematic Japanese game series that Sony rightfully killed. No one knows what "denpa" means but we do know this was the first "denpa" and "meta" visual novel.
Stardew Valley
It's not an exaggeration to say none of the games on this list would exist if not for Stardew Valley trailblazing the path for cosy, wholesome Visual Novels for white people. It also invented queer romantic options and same-sex marriage in farming games, 20 years after Story of Seasons.
I actually like all the other ED sequences more than Get Wild
The Witcher 3: Get Wild
The first game in The Witcher series, and the first game in history to introduce a romance system where the player has to pick between two opposite partners: the tsundere Olga Pataki and the kuudere Daria Morgendorffer.
Expedition 33: Clair Obscur
The first ever game mixing Baroque, Visual Novel elements with choices deciding your ending, timed mechanics, and turn-based RPG.
Genshin
A rich visual novel with an open-world exploration minigame. You play as a white traveler ally who helps out indigenous people all around the world fight against Russian colonialism. The perfect game for any white-minded leftist USAjin who'd be at brunch if Harris won.
Alt Sonic And Its Multiplayer Sequel Alt Sonic: Yoru no Kimi
Born from the minds of George Red Ring Rico and Hayao Miyazaki (who is honorary white due to his contributions to society), this is a Genshinlike that will keep you occupied for hundreds of hours fighting the camera. It seems filming the action in a FromSoft game is even harder than being a games journalist and talking about Palestine pre 2023.
Haa Desu Tsuu
The first ever deconstruction of otome games, where you play as a strong independent woman who always discuss consent with the other party before selecting a buff and with no problematic cage ending.
Dispatch
Absolute masterpiece because the UI looks just a tiny bit similar to the one in Fire Department, and it totally juggled my memories of that game and made me want to replay it.(Editor's Note: Dispatch will loose its spot immediately if the game's writers decide to add back unneeded sex scenes).
Wing Commander IV: The Price of Freedom
Wing Commander IV is light-years ahead every other game on this list. A timeless masterpiece space opera visual novel that will deliver an unforgettable experience. Choices that matter. A friendship and romance system. Anti-anime graphics that are so realistic you'd think they were made by filming real people. Last but not least, this game is suitable for both leftwing and rightwing white-minded people as it stars loyal supporter of "Isreal's Right To Defend Itself", Mark Hamill, who voices protagonist Blair. Personally, to this day Wing Commander IV is still one of my favorite visual novels of all time.
There you have it. Remember to like and subscribe and share this article with your white friends if they're looking for some Visual Novels to enjoy in the right, unproblematic way.
Disclaimer
This is a satire article written by a human. If there's something that makes you think "oh this is false actually" "this word was not used correctly" there's a 99% chance that that's the joke, and not a typo.
The base joke " x for white people" is overused and not that funny in 1447/2025. But just saying that is still enough to make low level racists mad and white-minded leftists uncomfortable. So it's still cool.
I only played KOTOR 2, Genshin, Wing Commander IV on this list. Most of the other games are not my cup of tea (especially Dispatch and Expedition 33) but it's not like I absolutely hate them. Would recommend them for real. Except for Stardew Valley and most games with the same "cosy" and "wholesome" vibe.
If you're financially stable and wanna support me so I can spend time thinking up funnier jokes, you can subscribe to my Ko-fi. Insha Allah one day I'll get over 150 subs and make this my main job. Please remember that I have other means of revenue for now so it's not like It'd be homeless if no one subbed. You could share and donate to fundraisers for Palestinians instead.
Thanks for reading.
